K.L.

Petronas Towers (in the background, not Jefferson's fingers)

We took an eight-hour night boat (everyone gets their own pallet to sleep on!), to a four-hour mini-van (never sit in the way back - the bumps are intense), to a ten-hour double decker bus (big chairs, super comfy, waaaay too much AC goin' on) - and BOOM.  We're in Kuala Lumpur.

I bought prophetic stickers

It's a big city with tons of "Western" things like Kenny Rogers Roasters, Chili's and lots of Starbucks. We went up to the mall at the base of the Petronas Towers (very Harry Potter of them to name it like that), and spent one of the two days we have here relaxing.  We saw Captain America (Winter Solider) at the theatre they have there and then I got sick! At the mall! I will not go into detail!  It's only the third time on this trip though, and just like the others I have no idea what caused it - but I'm right as rain now. Probably. Today we're doing much of the same (hopefully without the exciting sickness) and relaxing and shopping around at a more local market instead of the mall.

But that is not the exciting news - the super exciting news is what we are doing for our four year wedding anniversary (which is this Thursday).  WE'RE GOING TO THE MALDIVES! AH!!  Soooo stupidly expensive but it looks ridiculously beautiful, has over-water bungalows, and we're all the way over here so why not? To put it another way, Jefferson is a good, good man - and very indulgent (which I think we all knew but didn't realize the extent of it until now).  If you aren't familiar with the Maldives, here are some shots of exactly where we're going:
- http://www.pinterest.com/pin/360217670167851637/
- http://www.pinterest.com/pin/503136589590049632/
- http://www.pinterest.com/pin/360217670167851315/

So...I'm pretty excited.  I'll be taking an absolute TON of pictures and will report back in a few days about it all.  AH!

Malaysian beer - Skol!

Like the Japanese (who took the term from the Chinese) they say "kanpai!" here for "cheers!"

Random Pictures

I'll go that way.

We spent One Night in Bangkok! Ok, that's what we meant to do and I thought it'd be really funny - but we ended up staying a second night because we were tired and our hotel had a pool. We did visit Khao San Road (a den of backpackers) so Jefferson could show me the chaos of the area - but we did that the second night because the first night there were protests in the area so we stayed safely in our hotel.  So, after TWO nights in Bangkok, we made it to the beach of Koh Tao island - where Jefferson spent four months scuba diving about seven years ago.  It's HOT. Really HOT! Pretty but HOT. I shan't complain, though - since I just checked the weather in Chicago and it's still cold. 

We plan to be lazy for a bit and hide from the heat as much as we can - so while we don't have a ton to report, here are some random but funny pics we've taken throughout the trip for your viewing pleasure.

PS, after three nights on Chalok Baan Khao (the bay on the south side of the island), we've moved up to Sairee Beach. Chalok Baan Khao was quiet and beautiful and much less crowded, but it was also much more "rustic". We had ceiling fan that was more like an oscilating fan, except that it "oscilated" around in a full circle. It felt great for the one second that it was pointed directly toward you, but then you spent the next five seconds waiting for that second of relief again.  There was no way to turn the "oscilation" off. There was also only one electric outlet and the water was hard and rusty. Last night we finally ventured up to Sairee beach and checked out some accomodations in town (up the road from the beach).  We found a much nicer place for the same price.  This morning we woke up early and moved over to the new place -- the shower was glorious and the fan is great =)

Koh Tao - where we stayed the first nights.

PPS, on the bug bite front: I only have 5 or so mosquito bites but one of them is the size of a half dollar (the kind with JFK's profile) - so maybe it's not one but a whole family decided to feast on my leg. We'll never know!

Smallest car or tallest woman?

BACON!!!

Cheap flight with a duck air plane.

Jimmy likes burgers.

Gross!

 

Ooooookaaaaay...

Biggest bite ever.

We Graduated!

We are now certified and trained in two levels of Thai massage - wahoo!  Here are a few pics of our graduation - and if I look really happy it's because my prize for doing two weeks of school was a baguette and block of nice cheese (and I get to sleep in from here on out).  We both scored 10/10 on our final exam - whoooo wants a massage!?  We also received string bracelets and got traditional Thai wrap shorts - so now we can blend in with all of the other Westerners dressing like Thai folks.  I will miss getting massages nearly every day (both at school and after - it was for homework!), but I'm glad to be done with school.

   

All is well, but I have a few rants to get off my chest:

1. I cannot take hearing Bryan Adams - not one more time. I. Can't. Back during my Kevin Costner phase I could have listened to that one song a few times a day but I am over it.  Same goes for Celine Dion (any song - and I never had a Celine phase), or the Michael Jackson song, "Heal the world" (original OR instrumental).  One more time, Thailand - try it. See what happens.

2. RIP Racket of Justice.  They wouldn't let me take it on the plane.  Their silly fear of batteries exploding on planes (ok, kinda valid) means I had to give it away to some (now-happy) taxi driver.  GRRRRRRRRRRR.  We did good work, that racket and me (and Jefferson who spent each night clearing our front door area of mosquitoes so I could sleep better at night (and also because he just had fun doing it)). 

3. Where hath all the red Gatorade gone?  Thailand won't sell anything but the yellow and blue - and if you're super lucky you can find purple - but it's rare. What's up with that?

I feel much better now, phew!  This rant has been brought to you by Karen Hansen, Professional Photographer and Jefferson Hansen, retired Mosquito Hunter (but once a hunter, always a hunter, amiright?).
 

Mosquito Hunters

 

Heyo!  It's been a while because we've been super busy - but I'll get to that in a moment.  First, let's talk about the RACKET OF JUSTICE!  This gem, bought at a night market IS THE BEST.  It is shaped like a tennis racket and, when turned on and swung at the worst creature on the planet (the mosquito, of course) it zaps them!  A satisfying zap that you will see a video of once we leave the land of internet policing.  This RACKET OF JUSTICE makes up for me never getting a machete - about 100 fold.  We get lots of applause and cheers when we hunt in public places - it's really a public service.

Ok, so we've been busy at the Thai Massage School in Chiang Mai (yes, this is in Thailand - and yes, we are safe - they lifted the alert off of travelers going to Thailand).  We've been going to massage school from 9am-4pm each day and it's actually been really fun - if exhausting and like an all day workout.  A few highlights from school:
- We passed course one! Woo! We are now trained (ish).
- One of my instructors just sat next to me for a while asking why I was so pale and poking my leg like it was a great mystery - he even called the other teacher over to talk about it.
- They serve us lunch each day and MAN OH MAN is it spicy. No pad thai yet, dangit. (but don't worry - I have had it every single day elsewhere)
- Jefferson's partner for our exam was a lady about five foot nothin' - And she couldn't do some of the massage moves on him because she couldn't reach - ha!
- We learned a stomach massage that if done clockwise helps in the event of constipatin and counterclockwise for diarrhea - this could come in handy on our travels.
- Homework was coloring pictures in our workbook - best homework ever (and usually done over some beers).
- At one point I had my partner and an instructor both practicing on my legs and my partner said, "I bet you didn't wake up this morning and think two strange men would be massaging you at the same time, eh?"  Delightful.

School days were pretty much wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, get a gatorade to make up for all the sweating at school, have dinner, pass out, repeat.  We haven't had too many non-school days but we've spent a lot of time walking everywhere.  We even found a store that is basically the Whole Foods of Thailand - similar brands, similar atmosphere and everything.  At the end of two weeks of school my treat for even doing school will be a package of cheese and some bread purchased at said store - NOM NOM NOM.

The second day we were here, Jefferson also took a cooking course and learned to make two of his favorite Thai dishes (Green Curry and Tom Yum soup) as well as Pad Thai - my absolute favorite, I mean come on, is there really any other? However, while learning to cook me yummy dishes is great and all, in the end, the most important thing he got out of the class was how to say "no dried shrimp" for when I order pad thai.  Some places (as in all of the "good" places) put a bunch of miniature dried shrimps (head/tail/shell/yuck) in for flavoring and I don't like it one bit.  We've been free of it ever since his class!

We have, of course, had Mexican food already, plus I got to experience my first Change beer - which is Jefferson's all time favorite beer.  He says it's like playing beer roulette because the quality control is so poor here that some Changs are super strong and some weak - so you never know what you are going to get.  Unfortunately, Chang and my tummy don't get along (bad chang-overs), so I'm sticking with other beers. In fact, on St. Paddy's day we hit up one of two Irish pubs in town and had some Guinness and stew (and potato skins) to celebrate!

We are starting course two of massage school on Monday so wish us luck!  Then it's off to the beach!   

Happy St. Paddy's!

mmmm, Guinness!

   

Last day in Cambodia

Ice cream in tubes that taste like Captain Crunch.

For our last day in Cambodia (a land not for the weak of ankle) we took it easy by hitting up a coffee shop, doing some shopping/haggling, having ice cream from weird but tasty edible tubes, watching dancers (both traditional Cambodian dancing and a random drag queen dancing at the night market to a bunch of songs including Gangum Style - guess which dancing I liked best?), and then best (or worst) of all: we had our feet "cleaned" by a tank full of cleaner fish. I handled it like a champ.  That is a lie.  We have video of me dunking my feet in for the first time and if you turn your volume up you can hear my horrified squealing and chanting of "I hate this, I hate this" - but I survived!  And then to treat ourselves after that traumatic experience, we got foot massages - wahoo!

Once we figure out how to upload the videos we'll show you that - plus some adorable elephants walking by - and some oldies from Halong Bay.

Nom nom...

Nom.

 

Terrifying.

Traditional Cambodian Dancing.

Karen Hansen, Professional Photographer

  

 

I mean - look at that shot (above).  The angle, the lighting, the...verve.  So that's us at the famous Angkor Wat - can't you tell?  We decided against the bike riding even though it sounded great - and got a tuk tuk driver for the day.  We watched Tomb Raider the night before we got here, but didn't see any of the underground caverns she found or any of the angry fighting monkey statues.  Maybe next time.

Here are some other highlights of our day - six hour of hot hot hot temps and lots of temples.  If you take a million pics you are bound to get a few great ones, right?  See if you can tell the one's Jefferson took from the ones I took (if you click the pics they should get bigger for you to scroll through).

Ancient rock stacking technique?

Lookin' good

You can pick your friends...

Work it.

Possibly...

Ta Prohm.

That dragon got a big ol' butt.

Your zoom is on.

  

Karen in a big tree!

Karen at Ta Prohm.

Twinsies!

Bayon.

Own it.

Much better shot.

Cambodia

Welcome dranks at our hotel!

We got to Cambodia safe and sound and our hotel made us sit and relax to have some complimentary beverages and snack before showing us our room - it was really nice!  It's a cute hotel and if it wasn't so mosquito ridden, I'd hang out here more.  We're only here for 2.5 (extremely hot) days, so we're headed to see the temples of and around Angkor Wat next.  They are probably the best temples in the world...

Probably.

Welcome Dranks!

Mmmmm....